As wedding season looms large, lets think about its form, shape and purpose.

The vows - why not study the religions you admire, compile and list the promises from both sides that you can actually commit to. Instead of blindly following along to a priest speaking in an alien language, and never really keeping any promises once married, because you don't know what you signed up for.

The witnesses - the people you invite are there to witness these promises - this is not just a celebration but also an invitation to hold you accountable. Who would you invite into this vulnerable and honest admission to your partner?

Is celebration = performance? Do you need to watch badly choreographed dances by friends and family, and then be the center piece of this performance trying to move in clothes that render you immobile? Is this the occasion for this?

Music - is your wedding an ode to Bollywood's trash? Can the Sangeeth not be re imagined to create the sound that heals one, in a moment of quietude and sobriety?

The flowers - does one have to rent characterless ballrooms in 5 star hotels and then spend lakhs on doing it up to tie flowers to concrete pillars? For this to then look exactly like the 500 weddings before and after. Is this really beautiful ? Or are you forced to accept that it is.

The purpose - question the purpose of this ceremony and celebration. Is it for you and your spouse, or is it for the establishment of family, wealth and industry.

Is a display of wealth still considered an establishment of it? Even if it is, does anyone appreciate your superiority over theirs?

The clothes - are you going to wear something that will hold you down, make you immobile, force you into cliches? Or will you choose freedom?

The tagging - in tagging your every purchase, are you drawing attention to the sacredness of your moment, or the consumerism of it? Are you a celebrity who got these things for free and therefore are obligated to provide free advertising to the vendors? Or do you just want to be cool and feel like you're in the same club as them ?

The functions - how many functions does it take to have a good marriage (not wedding).